Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Resolutioner

I have a very active imagination.

Each night I say my prayers, and then lie in bed and think of all the things I am absolutely going to (or not going to) do the next day. I am NOT going to eat any sweets. I am GOING to do my laundry. I am NOT going to be a complainer. I am GOING to stretch and exercise. I am NOT going to neglect my blog. I am GOING to take my vitamins.

In this fantasy version of myself I am a size six, who always has smooth legs, perfect posture, and clear skin. I am charming, humble, kind, and and patient. I keep up with my chores around the house so well that they seem to do themselves. I am constantly challenging myself mentally, and spiritually. I regularly write pieces that are either funny or interesting or eloquent (even in my fantasy life I know that it's too much to ask for all three).

And then, full of these resolution, on a pillow of good intentions, I fall asleep. Then I wake up the next day, grumble when there's no coffee left in the pot, and slouch my way through the morning. I find myself pompous and didactic and complaining about some little thing. I get to work and see that someone has brought cookies and shortbread, which I scarf down with abandon and glee -- buying a caramel latte as well, because really, what goes better with shortbread than a caramel latte? Etc etc etc ad nauseam.

But I go on making the resolutions, and I go on breaking them. I wonder what it will take for me to really strive to gain the self control that I need? Any pointers?

6 comments:

j3® ® y said...

Make your "I'm going to" list a "Get it done now" list. How hard is it to turn "I'm going to take my vitamins" to "I just took my vitamins"? The exercise thing is the same... you have to DO. Stuff like exercise if tough to stick to, so you have to set up something concrete. Print out a workout that you're going to do (whether it's a light workout daily, or a harder workout on M-W-F or T-Th), and write down what you've done. Keep an exercise journal. That's worked for me. I can show you what weights I was lifting or how many pushups I was doing for the past year and more. That way you can see progress too. Hey, you could post your results on the blog, that would help you to not neglect your blog, and to let us readers keep you accountable.

Matt said...

shock therapy?
;-)

Crazy Calvinist said...

I turned my "I don't want to do"lists into "done" lists a lot more of late! So, believe me, there's more than hope for you!! What Jerry wrote makes sense I think.

All I need to do now, is to achieve my "mustn't do" lists too!! ;-)

Gina said...

Make your lists of "to do"s easier to begin with. Make a nice long list that starts with: Take a Shower, drink coffee, take vitamins, go to work, take a short walk, etc. It feels so good to check items off the list that you'll want to do more on it. You don't have to list every single thing on the first day. Start slowly. Add more things to the list, after you've made a habit of such things like taking your vitamins every day. Good luck!

Jody said...

At least I'm not the only one who can't live up to their ideals before bed. :) I find certain types of to do's easier than others. The scheduled laundry, groceries and cleaning are one thing, but the resisting of the cookie, the never ending supply of patience, and the 8 glasses of water are another. :) At any rate, don't give up. :D

Susan said...

You sound like Paul! The good that I would do...

I have a couple of suggestions. First, stop making so many resolutions. Daydreaming about being perfect is only going to frustrate you. Instead, prayerfully focus on 1-3 things that are really bothering you and consider: are they connected in some way? Is the root of them the same? Only digging up the root of the problem(s) will result in sustained and real change, otherwise even if you seem to solve one problem you'll just be "rearranging your flesh." Boil it down to the First Commandment--everything seems to end up there.

Well, that was encouraging. lol

 
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